Friday Funny

I decided I might as well make this kind of a regular feature as long as I can find good stuff to post. We all need something to brighten our day on a Friday right?

Horse Self- Improvement In 20 Easy Steps

 
 1. I will NOT roll in streams when my human is on my  back.

 2. I will NOT leap over large nonexistent obstacles  when the whim strikes.
 
 3. I will NOT walk faster on the way home than I did  on the way out.

 4. I will NOT bite my farrier's butt just to say "Hi".

 5. I will NOT confuse my human's blond hair for really  soft hay.

 6. I will NOT blow my nose on my human.
 
 7. I will NOT try to mooch goodies from every human  within a one-mile radius.
 
 8. I will NOT lay totally flat in my stall with my  eyes glazed over and my legs straight out and pretend  I can't hear my human frantically screaming "Are you  asleep?"

 9. I will NOT chase the ponies into the electric fence  to see if it is on.

 10. I will promise NEVER to dump the wheelbarrow of  manure over while my human is mucking my stall.

 11. I will NOT grab my lead rope in my mouth and  attempt to lead myself.

 12. I will NOT pull my shoes off the day after being  shod just to prove that I can.

 13. I am NEITHER a beaver nor a carpenter. I promise I  won't eat or orally remodel the barn or the new  fences.

 14. I am NOT a battle steed and will NOT act like one.
 
 15. I WILL forgive my human for my very bad haircut,  even though I look ridiculous.

 16. I WILL accept that not every carrot is for me.
 
 17. I will NOT bite the butt of the horse in front of  me during a trail ride just to say "Hi".

 18. I will NOT jump in the air and turn 180 degrees  every time I see a deer.

 19. I will understand that deer are NOT carnivorous.
 
 20. I WILL gladly come from the pasture when my human  wants my company.